Ride or Die?

There's nothing new about everyone searching for that "ride or die" partner, but does this really exist?  Many people claim to be "down for whatever" but how many actually deliver when the time comes?  Is it even fair to expect someone to be your ride or die?  For instance, lets say Jamal goes to prison for 10+ years on a robbery charge.  Is it fair for him to ask his girlfriend, Tina, to be there when he gets out?  I find that it may be understandable if Jamal and Tina were married or if Jamal's crime was of an innocent nature, but if he deliberately broke the law then how can he expect Tina to stay by his side??  Now, let's say Derrick and Trisha are married and Derrick goes to prison for a murder that was self defense but they live in a state where self defense is not recognized.  He can be released on parole in six years with good behavior, but Trisha feels that this is too much so she files for a divorce.  I feel that in this case, Trisha should have stuck it out with her hubby since she did say "for better or for worse."  So could it be a problem that some people don't know when to be a "ride or die" partner or is convenience a factor.  Maybe Tina wants to stick it out with Jamal because of low self esteem or not knowing better. Could this be the mentality of many of our young girls?   Maybe Tina feels that no one else will want her because she has a couple of kids by Jamal or maybe there is someone there telling Tina that she will never do better.  Let's talk about doing better for a minute.  So now Tina is a single mother who is advised that she needs to discontinue her education and get government assistance in order to take care of her children.  Is this Tina's only option or is this that same voice telling her that she will never do better or have better so she may as well settle for less?  Now that Tina has no education she cannot get a decent job, therefore, she will remain on government assistance for most of her life passing this mentality down to her children.  Even if Jamal does get out of jail, there is no guarantee that he will stick around to help take care of any expenses or if he will even be able to get a job since he is now in "the system."  With Jamal jobless, he will more then likely resort to old habits that will land him back in prison, which will still leave Tina by herself.  So the question is:  if Tina had someone there to break this state of thinking and show her other alternatives, would she still be in this situation?  Now back to the Ride or Die....  when is it appropriate to be that down for whatever chick?  Should you be expected to give up a piece of your life for someone has not even figured out life itself?  Why would you make life altering changes for someone who is not willing to alter their life to get a legit income to support their family?  Lets talk about legit quickly.  Take a drug dealer for instance.  Being a drug dealer is not an easy task but most do it because it's fast money.  Now, it takes certain qualifications to be successful in this industry. First you have the mathematical aspect.  You have to know how much to charge in order to maximize your profit and you have to know much product you're selling.  Then you have to market yourself and advertise.  Customer service is always a plus.  On top of that you have to worry about the competition.  If you throw a suit on a drug dealer (plus a few other things) what do you have?  A businessman.  I think they will blend nicely in corporate America!  Please feel free to leave your questions and comments on my pot of gumbo thoughts. 

On the Fence

Cassie is a young women in her early twenties who is attending a southern college.  She has been dating on and off during her college years but never ventured into any serious relationships.  Lately, Cassie has been seeing two guys with very opposite personalities.  The first guy, Eric, is a college graduate in his late twenties.  Eric has a great job and a promising future.  He's sweet, charming, passionate, and affectionate but his love making is a bit lacking...if you know what I mean and his conversations are boring. The second guy, Terrell, has a reputation for being a bit of a bad boy.  This drives Cassie wild in every way imaginable.  Terrell is a twenty-five year old high school drop out who has trouble holding down a job.  Cassie, wanting to see the good in everyone, believes that she can look past this.  He's fun, adventurous, and spontaneous, all of the things that Cassie feel are missing from her life. She can spend hours conversing with Terrell about anything under the sun and she always catches herself smiling for no apparent reason whenever he's around but his criminal background does not set well with her.  The troubling part is that Cassie is not sure if she has a future with either one.  She is scheduled to start graduate school the following fall semester and does not know where this will take her. Eric, who is a devoted Christian, has already professed his undying love for her and his desire to marry her in the near future but she does not feel that she is ready for marriage.  Cassie also feels that she would be settling because Eric does not fulfill her needs.  She feels that the right thing to do is to let both Eric and Terrell go and start fresh but she is unsure how to go about this without hurting them.  Cassie is on the fence right now and unsure as of how to get off of it